One of those days

Today was not a really good day, ahh sometimes i feel really homesick even though im in my house, but not my home, that place beside the sea is what i consider my home but there's nothing i can do to comeback there, im stuck in here. Once i was told that i have to let go of things and look to the future, i remember those words where like an arrow crossong one of my lungs, but it was true, i need to keep looking forward, when you told me i wanted to hold you so bad... Ok enough with you, im over it, i think.. yes im over it, and i dont want to open wounds.

During the whole day i wanted to be alone with me and my thoughts just one more time, it seems that i cant think clearly when im in my house or awake at 3:00 a.m., i always get that kind of feeling when im at school its like so frustrating because in school i cant be alone its like im alone and when people see me they come to me and ask me if im fine, and yes im always fine, i actually thank them for worrying about how i am, but there are other times when i just want to think without distractions, and sometimes i really hate that because your alone they think something's wrong with you, well in my case im always normal and maybe a little confused but im not breaking down. Ive missed so many things lately, the smell of humidity in the morning, the bright and burning sun, my friends must of all... Gosh depending on my day all of them just start appearing in everything i think, it really depresses me to know that im here, not knowing what the hell i am supposed to be doing in such a place like this, and no im not despising the place where i live, i actually like it, the people, the weather, the environment and a lot bunch of things but there's always this thought of comparison to the city beside the sea and of course this place ends up loosing as usual.

And other days its like this kind of idea of Jeez is hard for me to stay here, its getting harder to breath... what if i just stop? It may sound suicidal but its not its a metaphor of how hard is being here and what if i just leave, even though there's no freakin' way to get the hell out of here, its like if i was tied up to the ground. Right now i so want to cry and hold someone so bad... but i cant cry its seems there's a drought inside my eyes, and i cant hold someone because there's not a real person around me to be held. My world seems to fall apart but one more time, yes one more time, ill have to stand strong even if im decomposing from the inside.

A dreamer dreams of an idea & dreams it will never die*

This dreamer feels so nostalgic, but cant do anyhting about it...

MQ ......................... I want to find the key however it is, to unchain myself from the ground . smm- simply me -M