Truth

Man im seriously sad... and depresed i want to hurt myself to punch the wall and brake my hand, but im not that brave to hit the wall with all my strenght, im such a coward. i cant believe that the reason i traveled so far now makes me think of my dumbness and to regret everything, well not everything, i mean the fact that i told you what i was supposed to tell you, i believe that was the worst mistake of my life... and im still young God if i only had thought twice before making that kind of choice maybe i wouldnt feel like this, but just maybe because as they say if you dont risk you dont win, but in this case i risked all of my integrity from my mind to my heart and what was the outcome? Coming back to this place broken hearted and regreting everything.

I cant believe how stupid i was to go with an illusion and founding out everything i dreamt was supposed to be a dream and nothing more, im not the one for you it was never meant to be, i kept holding on to that idea of happiness, I now declare im done with this stupid obsession with love, (Moulin Rouge). The only thing i can say is that i dont believe in anything, believing is painful, you will just have to let time heal you, even if it will hurt like fucking hell, if time doesnt heal me ill have to take this nail with another nail. I dont want to listen any music, it depresses me like you have no fucking idea, in the whole day i didnt even touched my ipod, but the stupid radio always comes out with that stupid love song, i remember i heard this song that really made me want to get out of the car and start running through the traffic and see if a car ran over me, the song was its you by ryan cabrera God Ryan Cabrera i damn you! no and thats not the end of this messed up day later, arriving at my house Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls was on the radio, i totally wanted to kill myself, i actually punched the air bag, my mom was like: whats wrong with you? i totally answered nothing mom... ¬¬ i seriously wanted to die. Sorry that i didnt said goodbye, i didnt had the guts but if i had told you, i would have cried, i didnt wanted you to see me cry. Even though i cried on the plane... people were staring at me.

Now ill have to look inside my heart something that makes me write without wanting to hit the walls and hurt myself.

A dreamer dreams of an idea & dreams it will never die*

Maybe this dreamer doesnt want to dream anymore, cuz the next dream that pops up may die, but now the dreamer as weak as it is, it may die with its dream.

MQ ......................... now I know it was nothing there to hold on to. smm- simply me -M